


i am craving heartbreak while you’re making your demands

by the_milliners_rook



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Pining, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FIC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 21:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2826500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_milliners_rook/pseuds/the_milliners_rook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you’re so great at kissing, oh kissing expert, why don’t you kiss me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	i am craving heartbreak while you’re making your demands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adobochan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adobochan/gifts).



> Written for the Secret Santa HitsuKarin Fic Exchange. Prompt: Light(s).
> 
> Title taken from The Last Shadow Puppets's song 'Calm Like You.'

The neon lights are green when Karin breathes in and pink when she breathes out. It’s a nice sort of pink, Karin thinks to herself, drawing back a little. Her thoughts begin to turn a little bit fuzzy, and really, she _feels_ quite fuzzy, gazing at the pink neon light. It’s a nice sort of pink, matching the flush that spreads over Toushirou’s cheeks. There’s a smile tugging on her lips, and she lets it spread over her face.

“Isn’t this great?” She says, not sure if she’s shouting or not, but the music is loud and she can barely hear herself think, so she must be shouting, even if she doesn’t feel that she is. She says it again. “Toushirou, isn’t this great?”

There’s an impulse inside her that wants to reach out and touch the pink that glistens over his cheeks, made darker by the strobe lights, just to fulfil the curiosity of wondering how warm his face really feels. She can’t remember from a second ago, memory too feathery. Her hands are doing their own thing at the moment, and Karin can’t direct her arms except in sluggish motions that makes her feel like a giant.

This is why being sixteen and drunk is awesome.

“Karin,” Toushirou says, and Karin grins, because he says her name like he hasn’t breathed in the longest time, and then the lights turn yellow, a brilliant sickly kind of yellow that makes—

That makes Karin throw up on him.

It is not one of her finer moments, if Karin’s being honest.

Karin can’t really remember what follows, and wakes up the next morning in her bed with a sore headache and the promise that she is never going to be drunk or drink alcohol again.

It is a promise that is going to be broken the next time Midoriko decides to throw another party.

 

 

It’s in the middle of brushing her teeth that Karin remembers what happened last night. She’d kissed Toushirou at the party and then vomited on his shoes. Which isn’t great, as things go. That kind of thing happens a lot though, right? Friends get drunk, and sometimes kiss each other. Besides the obvious rule that best friends aren’t supposed to kiss best friends, there has to be an exception made when alcohol is involved. Right?

After all, Karin rationalizes to herself, putting the toothbrush down and turning the taps on, preparing to gargle, Matsumoto has probably explained that sort of thing to him all the time. Probably. She seems like the party girl type. He’s probably used to stuff like this happening back when he was in the same class as Ichi-nii and Rukia, right?

She spits the water out, and wipes her mouth. Tries to think about the events factually.

Alright. Her first kiss was when she was drunk and with Toushirou. Big deal.

It’s not particularly ground-breaking, as Karin thought it would be. She doesn’t feel overwhelmed or underwhelmed by it. Kisses were never a big thing for her—they didn’t seem to be particularly romantic—she flat out rolled her eyes whenever Yuzu watched the sappy TV shows and swooned whenever the big romantic kisses happened.  Maybe she’s not a person meant to be kissed or something. She doesn’t get what the fuss is about.

She’d pressed her lips to his and was absolutely clueless about what was meant to happen next. He didn’t kiss back. It was kind of anti-climactic. So there’s that. She can tick ‘had her first kiss’ off the bucket list.

And okay, if she had to pick someone, then as far as Karin figures, drunk or sober, Toushirou is a pretty good choice.

Might as well pick her best friend, right?

 

 

So, okay, Karin doesn’t particularly care that her first kiss was nothing that the romance books or the romantic comedies and tragedies and dramas that most fiction gears her to believe that they are. Not especially. But it usually means that friendships are ruined forever or some rubbish like that, right?

And that’s not good. That’s not right. Karin will go through fire and brimstone itself in order to make sure that their friendship doesn’t go to hell because of a drunken kiss.

They’re best friends, dammit! They can’t be separated so easily like that.

She buys a watermelon as a peace treaty just in case things get weird.

 

 

“Hey Toushirou,” She says, leaning over his desk the next Monday morning. It’s sweet that he takes time to go to class with her. To be honest, he looks better in school uniform than he does in the _shinigami_ garb. He looks more normal this way.

“Hey Karin,” He says, voice flat and monotone as always. It’s the same predictable blaseness that she’s used to hearing each and every day that ends in ‘y’ because they hang out a lot, come to think about it.

He’s looking very intently out the window.

“How are things?” She asks, fingers curled into a fist and tucked under her chin. She’s not going to lie; it feels a little bit awkward, trying to act like things are normal when she’s not sure if they are. But they should be, right?

“Things are fine,” Toushirou says, and stretches out his arms. He’s stopped staring out of the window and started staring at the ceiling.

Karin can’t remember if this is something he normally does or not.

All it means is that he’s neither confirmed nor denied her suspicions about the flux of their relationship. Time to bring out the big guns.

“I bought a watermelon today. Thought you might want a slice,” Karin smirks, knowing that she has his attention now. If nothing else, she can depend on the reliability of a watermelon. “And before you ask, it comes sliced already. There’s no way I can shove that entire fruit inside my locker.”

“Finally,” He grins, and looks at her properly for the first time. He looked unfazed, amused, actually, if Karin’s willing to describe his expression, which she’s not. She can still read him like an open book. “I was wondering when you’d start talking sense.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Indignant, but with no real bite in her voice, Karin asks.

He lifts an eyebrow up. “It means you’re finally sounding normal.”

“Right,” Karin snorts. “ _I’m_ the one not acting normal.”

“You’re worried,” His teal eyes cut through her and Karin flushes. He always gets meticulously intense at the worst of times, and Karin wishes that it didn’t have the effect of making her feel transparent, like he knows all her innermost thoughts. There’s that, and the other effect, which is without fail, the sensation of heat creeping up her neck and rushing through her cheeks.

“When am I not? It’s high school, Yuzu and too much romance going through her head. It’s stressful keeping an eye on her,” Karin deadpans, even though she knows for a fact Yuzu can take care of herself. She’s not actually that bad—she’s like the old man, in that sense, playing up the foolishness because it tends to get a laugh out of Karin, or annoy her when she’s in a particularly bad mood. And she hasn’t been in a bad mood for ages. “Besides,” Karin adds, leaning in for the conspiracy. “I’m Karakura Red, she’s Karakura Yellow, and you alone know my secret identity, Karakura White. Someone’s got make sure this town is safe.”

“Okay Karin,” He says, humouring her.

“Watermelons at the rooftop though?” Karin asks, persistent. He still hasn’t given her an answer, even though she’s pretty certain she knows what it’s going to be.

His mouth quirks into a grin. “Anything for watermelon.”

 

 

“So,” Karin begins, talking with a bite of watermelon in her mouth, before promptly realizing that it’s not a good idea to talk with her mouth full. It’s like this sometimes, they’ll have lunch on the roof, sometimes there’ll be her soccer buddies and Yuzu, other times it’ll just be them. This is nothing new. Karin prefers to sit, and Toushirou prefers to stand, and this is comfortable, familiar ground for a conversation like this. “Are we okay?”

“We’re fine,” Toushirou says, giving her a weird look, and for one second Karin thinks that maybe she made the entire thing up in her head, and it was a weird dream that happened. People don’t dream about kissing their best friends with their heads blitzed up on alcohol do they? “Is this about the party?”

“Hey, I had to check,” Karin shrugs, sighing in relief, and it’s a goddamn godsend. She doesn’t try to hide her emotions, not when it comes to this. For the moment, there are no more knots in her stomach. “Yuzu’s talked my ear off about how friendships get ruined because of alcohol and shit, based on the shows she watches, and I. I don’t know if she’s right or not, but I thought it shouldn’t be an elephant in the room between us, because you’re my best friend. And I needed to know that we were okay.”

He looks at her, fondly. “You really do worry too much. We’re fine, Karin. You don’t need to stress about it. We’re still best friends.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “You sure?”

“Yes,” he smiles softly, crouching, and flicks her forehead. Honestly, Karin prefers the days when he poked her forehead because that hurt less. But she doesn’t mind so much right now. “It’s not like this is my first time something like this has happened.”

“Really? Did this happen with Matsumoto’s… um, drinking buddies? Or when you were a student with Ichi-nii?” Karin asks, curious to know more. What else isn’t he telling her?

“Yes,” Toushirou smirks, irritatingly ambiguous and leaving the details unknown. “But it’s fine, Karin. It happens. You’re stuck with me as your friend.”

“Yeah, _best friend,_ ” Karin corrects him.

“Best friend,” Toushirou agrees, nodding.

“Just making sure,” Karin says happily, grinning at him.

“Why? Worried about your kissing skills, Kurosaki?” Toushirou smirks, and Karin stares at him, open mouthed and speechless.

“Are you grading me?”

“Please,” He rolls his eyes and then blinks, staring at her with an expression of surprise. “Wait. Do you want to be graded?”

“I do _now!_ ” Karin exclaims, heart beating a bit too fast.

“Alright,” He hums, thinking about before nodding to himself and tells her. “Five.”

“Out of what?”

“Ten,” Toushirou answers.

“Really?” Karin blinks. “Damn.”

“I’ve had better,” Toushirou shrugs, unconcerned at how Karin’s is gaping at him.

“Really,” Karin says flatly, after she’s able to regain her composure. Competitively flares through her bloodstream, and they might as well be talking about soccer than kissing skills. “Well you know what they say about kisses. They’re always better sober.”

He looks at her, wry. “Did Yuzu tell you that too?”

Blood floods through her cheeks, and she kicks him, glad that he’s sitting down. “I’m not at liberty to say.”

“Okay, Karin,” Toushirou replies and it’s incredibly irritating that he can drive her crazy by agreeing with her. It’s witchcraft, is what it is. That, and the smirk that gleams in his eyes, like a cat that knows exactly what mouse it’s going to prey on tonight. “I’ll hold you to it.”

The nerve of him. He even leans in.

“Wait just a moment—right now?” Karin backs away, wide eyed. They’re going to kiss? In broad daylight? This wasn’t part of the plan. Actually, the conversation is going rapidly out of control, and she’s not sure who’s to blame, but she’s going to blame him because she can.

“Sure,” Toushirou says, all arrogance and shamelessness, “Why not?”

He’s got a point.

He smirks, a lazy drawl in his voice. “C’mon, Kurosaki, what have you got to lose?”

“Shut up, Hitsugaya,” Karin mumbles, and tries to remember how kisses are supposed to go. There has to be at least one kiss she can mimic, let alone recall from spending lazy afternoons with Yuzu and marathonning yet again her favourite shows when the romance happens. She can’t have possibly tuned out every time. “I’m getting in the zone.”

Amused, almost like he’s charmed, he enunciates, “The kissing zone.”

It sounds like he’s teasing her.

Actually—

Actually it sounds like he’s mocking her.

“It’s a thing. Shut up,” Karin mutters, and tries to remember. At least she’s beginning to get a clue, the more she thinks about it. People tend to crawl into each other’s laps, didn’t they? It was part of the thing when they were sitting down.

All she had to do was crawl into his, and get comfortable. That sounded easy enough.

Last time, she’d shoved him to the wall and kissed him and thrown up on his shoes. This sounds marginally less embarrassing and maybe a bit easier. Invading his personal space was not a problem. Especially if it was a do-over.

Being up close and personal to him was as natural as breathing, honestly.

She places her hands on his neck to keep him in place and awkwardly moved to sit on him, leaning forward. She presses his mouth on his, a second, maybe two, and then drew back.

His mouth is soft. She hadn’t remembered that.

But she does remember his stunned expression.

“There,” Karin says, poking his chest, hard, and raises her chin, defiantly. She stares at him with a challenge in her eyes. “How’s that?”

“Hm,” He touched his lips, considering, his face contemplating and processing the details that just happened. He’s remarkably calm. Actually, it’s almost like he’s giving her a report, and she doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. “It was sweet.”

“We were just eating watermelon,” Karin points out, before getting back to the subject matter at hand. “So? Is sweet a six or…?”

“Still a five,” He smirks, not at all sounding apologetic. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize about,” Karin grunts, shrugging. “Just need to practise, is all.”

She tries to kiss him again, mouth landing squarely on the corner of his lips, just on the curve of his cheek.

“Karin.”

It sounds like a warning.

“Fine,” Karin huffs, contemplating resting her head on his shoulder, before lifting her head to meet his eyes. Her neck still feels like a giraffe, dammit, uncomfortably stretched out trying to get this close. It’s weird. “Fine. If you’re so great at kissing, oh kissing expert, why don’t you kiss me?”

“You’re not serious—” Toushirou blusters before Karin frowns at him with a deadly glare. Why would she not be serious about this? His fingers are curled around her waist, Karin’s suddenly acutely aware of this. She’d have probably toppled off if he hadn’t had such a good grip on her. “Karin,” he says. “Karin, I thought we agreed on _one_ kiss.”

“Yeah,” Karin agrees, nodding, still glowering at him. “And there’s been one kiss. The way I figure, if I kissed you, then you should kiss me.”

He stares at her for a long time.

“… I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, Karin,” he says, eventually.

“Because the kissing expert would know, wouldn’t he?” Karin snarks, unable to help herself.

“Yes he would,” he says, and damn him if he doesn’t sound a little bit proud.

“Too scared to show me what you’ve got?” Karin taunts, knowing the second his eyes flash that her change of tactics _worked_. Best way to get anything done is to rile him up. Shouting matches are fun. Soccer matches are fun. Kissing matches should be fun too. It’s kind of a sports thing analogy that Karin can understand.

“I didn’t say _that,_ ” Toushirou mutters grumpily. He tilts her chin up, gently, with the tips of her fingers, that the motion almost feels unconscious. And then he swoops. His mouth lowers onto hers, and their noses bump together. And then—then his teeth land on her bottom lip and he tugs gently.

Karin thinks—and she’s not quite certain—she may have gasped.

That was new.

“Well,” Toushirou says, and Karin is… speechless. She blinks owlishly at him, still feeling his mouth on hers. She tries to ignore the fact that he sounds as flustered as she feels. “How was that?”

“Yeah,” Karin says, mind still lost in the sensation, acutely aware of the warm radiating from his shirt, his heart beat pulsing beneath her fingers, her hands haphazardly resting on the collar of his shirt. Her mind is a little bit stuck on where her mouth is. Or… was. “That was something.”

He smirks, that smug bastard of a best friend, he _smirks_ and says, “You liked it.”

She’s still sitting in his lap, isn’t she?

Karin coughs. “Well. Maybe a little.”

“And?” He prods, lifting his eyebrow. “How would you rate it?”

“… eight?” Better than she thought it would be, but—still not the stuff seen from movies.

“Eight’s a compliment,” Toushirou says, and reaches for the last slice of watermelon. “Thanks. I’d have chosen a seven.”

“Oh?” Karin blinks, and scrambles off him. The moment’s over, she figures. She doesn’t feel awkward talking about this for some reason, when it’s talked about like a competition. “Not a ten?”

The kissing expert rates their third kiss as a seven? Interesting.

“Karin,” Toushirou smirks and Karin knows she’s going to regret this, whatever comes out of his mouth. She rolls her eyes because she knows exactly what he’s going to say before he’s even said it. It comes out even more condescending than she thought possible. “There’s always room for improvement.”

She hates him and her influence on him. He was nowhere near this sassy the first time they met.

“I guess,” Karin agrees, feeling neutral on the subject, just as a thought occurs, and crafty becomes her middle name. “But if that was the case, wouldn’t you have rated yourself a nine? Or a nine point five?”

“Well,” And Karin just knows she’s going to hate his answer even more because when Toushirou is insufferable, he is _insufferable_. That stupid arrogant jerk of a best friend. She adores him so much. “I know I can do better.”

She gives into her impulse and punches his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

His shit-eating grin lasts for days on end.

 

 

_I know I can do better._

It starts slow, but the more Karin thinks about it, the more irritated and obsessed by it she gets. It makes sense, she guesses, that he’d kissed before. It makes sense that he would be a better kisser than her—he’s had more kisses, he’s lived longer, he’s the Captain of the Tenth Division. But she can’t help but be annoyed by his claim.

 _Asshole,_ she thinks to herself, _how dare he be better than me._

“What?” He asks, lazily stretched across the grassy hill that they watch the sunset together.

“Nothing,” Karin answers, and thinks _asshole_ , again. It’s entirely irrational of her, and she doesn’t actually care that Toushirou has kissing experience. She doesn’t.

His droll expression tells her all she needs to know.

“Fine,” Karin caves, giving in to him and the stupid setting sun. “Show me.”

He blinks, eyelashes fluttering, scraping shadows past the curve of his cheeks. “Show you what?”

Head raised high, she says. “The perfect ten.”

“Oh,” His expression changes from stoic to surprised to amused to arrogant in the span of a heartbeat. “Karin, you aren’t ready for the perfect ten.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She says, not sure whether to laugh or to actually take offence. It sounds ridiculous, a sentence like that, coming from him.

“It means no,” Toushirou says simply.

“But why?”

“Karin, you seriously want to me to give you a perfect ten kiss?” Toushirou asks, incredulously. “Right here, right now?”

“Yes.”

Why was that so hard to understand?

_“Why?”_

Why is he the one getting embarrassed?

“Because I want to know what it’s like!” Karin exclaims, half-mortified, half-frustrated. Curiosity is not exactly a foreign concept.

He looks confused. “Did Matsumoto set you up to this?”

“No,” Karin huffs. “Why would she? I haven’t talked to anyone about this—should I?”

“Not really.” Toushirou mutters, cheeks flushed, though maybe that’s the sunset. He doesn’t meet her eyes and says nothing for a few seconds. “Considering it’s none of their business.”

“Okay, so… what’s the problem, exactly?”

“There’s no problem,” Toushirou mutters, head downcast, frowning again. “I just thought you would have mentioned something like this to Yuzu.”

“You want me to mention to Yuzu,” Karin states, very clearly. “That is a sentence you have just said. The second I breathe a word to her about this, she is not going to understand.” Karin knows her sister almost better than she knows herself; there is no way that Yuzu is going to let the matter go. “She is going to make it a bigger deal than it actually is.”

He huffs. “That’s not what I meant. I just. I thought you didn’t hide things from her.”

“I don’t tell her everything,” Karin snaps, annoyed. “Most things, okay? And this—this is something between you and me.”

Toushirou breathes heavily, like he’s exasperated and can’t think, and the only way he can do that is release air from his mouth in a great big sigh. “Okay, just. Let me get this straight. You want me to kiss you.”

“The perfect ten, yeah,” Karin nods.

He goes on. “Because you want to know what it’s like.”

“Sounds about right,” Karin agrees.

He pauses, opening his mouth and then hesitates, shoulders slumping like he doesn’t know what to do but ask helplessly. “Like a friends with benefits thing, rather than you want me to be your boyfriend and are asking me out in a really weird way?”

“Um,” Karin blinks. Shit. She hadn’t thought of it like that. Yuzu would have. Yuzu would have jumped—leaped to this conclusion—because it’s not like Yuzu isn’t subtle about teasing them, _everyone_ says this shit about them, when nothing could be further from the truth. She hadn’t even thought about it like that. “It’s not… like that,” She mumbles, finishing lamely.

At least. She didn’t think it was.

“Then what is it like?” He asks, softly, genuinely sounding curious.

“You’re my best friend,” Karin starts, then stops. “If I was going to ask you out, I would _ask you out._ Okay? You know me. I’m not good at…”

His lifts an eyebrow. “Being subtle.”

“I can be subtle if I want to!” Karin says, instantly, temper flaring up momentarily.

He doesn’t look convinced, stating, “But not about this.”

“Right. Not about this,” Karin agrees, shifting her legs on the grass. “I’ve had crushes before.”

“On Chad,” Toushirou notes, sounding clipped.

Karin blushes. That was an embarrassing reminder. She tries to play off her embarrassment for aloofness. She’s good at being aloof. “It lasted a week.”

“You were _speechless_ around him,” Toushirou smirks, and clearly, Karin is not as aloof as she thought she was. So much for playing it cool.

“Shut up,” Karin bickers, glaring. “I bet you’ve had crushes you regret!”

“Can’t argue with you there,” Toushirou nods, sounding wistful.

“The point is, if I had a crush on you, _I_ would know. Okay? _You_ would know.” She thinks. She’s not sure. She’d probably have to ask Yuzu what the protocol was for _Falling For Your Best Friend 101_. Yuzu would be ecstatic. Karin would sigh into her hands. And then the advice would be based on watching a bunch of TV shows on recurring trends on seeing what would work and what wouldn’t. And then there’d be flashcards and PowerPoints and too much cutesy arts and craft on how to organize the confession and Karin loves her sister so much but _shit_. Shit, that would be so weird. Karin’s getting a headache just thinking about it. “And—that’s weird. That would be weird, to have a crush on you.”

“Right,” He says, flatly.

“I mean, Toushirou, you’re a catch,” Karin says, gazing at the streaks of red and orange in the sky that stretch behind him. “You’re just not… my type.”

“Because I’m not tall,” Toushirou says, shortly.

“Well no. I like that about you,” Karin admits, quickly and honestly.

“You like that I’m… short,” He says, flatly.

“You always make that sound like a bad thing! I _like_ that you’re… my height. I like seeing eye to eye to you,” Karin rolls her eyes, torn between being good-natured or bad-tempered about his existential crisis of his height. It always calls for dramatics. “You are a perfectly good height. I’m just saying that I’m not interested in you like that.”

“But you’re fine with sticking your mouth down my throat,” Toushirou states, tilting his head to the side, expression unreadable.

“ _I did not do that,”_ Karin squeaks, vocal cords tightening. “What—why would you even _say_ that?”

“I am the kissing expert,” Toushirou declares, smugly, and Karin can’t help but flush and instinctively feel irritated by that fact.

“But that didn’t even happen,” She mumbles, sticking her tongue between her teeth and biting it. It paints a very good picture of a scowl.

“But if you kiss me, it will,” Toushirou points out, and Karin feels like she should scowl at him forever. Maybe that would make the situation better.

“Yeah, well. If we get there, we’ll cross that bridge while it happens,” Karin mutters, sounding gruff to her own ears. “If we don’t, then that’s fine too.”

“So we’re just… fooling around.” He says, and Karin can’t decipher what tone that’s trying to be. Not pleased, but not… not pleased, either.

“Yeah,” Fooling around… sounds pretty good. Fooling around is an excellent phrase. “I just want to know what that perfect ten is like, Toushirou, and if I can become a better kisser in the process, then… everyone’s a winner, right?”

“Right,” Toushirou says, and he sounds oddly strange, but Karin can’t figure out why he sounds so put-out.

“Toushirou,” Karin says, looking at him, _really_ looking at him, and the splatter of sunlight bleeding across his cheeks, the setting sun submerging into the trees. She frowns. “Is this… okay? I don’t want things to get weird.”

“It’s fine,” He says, determinedly.

“You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to,” Karin says, backtracking suddenly because if all the myths and legends and movies are true, then she can wait for… whoever catches her eye and she gets her next big crush. And hide it from the world, and then be transparently obvious. And then get all the awkward kissing make-outs in the world until she becomes a kissing expert master. “I won’t be upset—we can forget about this and move on—”

“Karin,” Toushirou says, and there’s such affection laden in his voice that Karin freezes. “I said that it’s fine. This is okay. Don’t worry about it.”

To prove his point, he cups jaw and kisses her gently, his nose bumping, sliding past hers, like an Eskimo kiss gone wrong except right and Karin’s left with the taste of sunshine and ice. He smells a little bit like sunshine, and his fingers shouldn’t set her skin on fire but. Maybe this is how all kisses go.

Maybe they all feel like this. Quietly intense, and always full of passion.

He tilts his head so that their chins bump, and Karin instinctively presses herself closer to him.

“Y’know,” Toushirou starts to speak, sounding a little throaty, and there’s a shiver that tingles down her spine that might actually be the palm of his hand splayed out across the small of her back. His breath is hot, and there are so many details that Karin is aware of but can’t find it within herself to catalogue. “It’s kind of cool if you join in too.”

“Yeah,” Karin says, without much air in her lungs, in her head, in her mouth. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

She’s placed her trust in the kissing expert, after all. There’s got to be a follow through.

Karin kind of wants to ask him to bite her bottom lip again. But maybe—maybe she should try doing that to him. Just to see what it’s like.

Shifting closer to him, their teeth meet with a clack, and her hand fumbles over the nape of his neck, brushing the flyaway curls that are there. It doesn’t faze her, somehow, the skill set required for a kiss is getting easier to do. Subconsciously, it’s beginning to feel more natural, like she’s been waiting for this moment just to see what it’s all about, why Yuzu likes the idea of kisses so much. The reality of kisses seems to be just as lovely, now that she’s getting the hang of it.

She tilts her head and their mouths slot together differently, but just as nice, just as warm. She moves her lips, aware how plush his feel against hers, and sinks her teeth lightly over his bottom lip.

His breath hitches, sending shockwaves through his body. It’s like a ripple effect; she’s so acutely aware of his body is pressed against hers, the rise and fall of his chest, and it’s as if the shockwaves are passing through her, and she’s dizzy with the thought of it, of losing herself with the soft sounds that Toushirou is making.

How they disentangle themselves from each other, mouths parting until the gap becomes wider and Karin can breathe again, Karin has no idea. All she’s really aware of is that their foreheads are still touching, and she’s looking directly at his bitten lips, how they look swollen. She’s not really sure how she’s gotten on top of him either—but. But it must be part of the kissing zone thing, the practising and fooling around aspect of it, right?

 _“Karin,”_ Toushirou says, lazy and drawn out almost like a moan, and she doesn’t think a sound like that could slip into her bloodstream and send her pulse rating so quickly, and before she has a chance to blink, he’s kissing her, and stealing all the air from her lungs, the air that’s she’s struggled to reclaim from just moments ago, and the lurch in her stomach.  And how his fingers are threaded through her hair and pressing on her hip feels like a mystery, how she’s so aware of this, the sensation that makes her feel giddy and heady especially when he sucks on her tongue and—

 Her brain fizzles out.

The kiss feels _rough_ , she doesn’t know how else to describe it—a scrape of teeth, the overall sensation of messiness about it, and _oh_ , and she definitely gasps this time around. She gasps into his mouth and deepens the kiss, and. His palm slides up her ribcage, she feels so greedy all of sudden, addicted to this, this moment, that it’s him and her, kissing, kissing, _kissing._ They’re surrounded by champagne light that makes his skin glow that there’s something inside her that wants more.

When she pulls back, his hand rests on her jaw, thumb brushing her lips and—

There’s a blush on her cheeks, her lips feel swollen, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to tell Yuzu about this. Because this kiss is different from the first few kisses. She doesn’t know how, but it is. Yuzu’s going to know. Somehow. She’s going to know that this has happened.

But it’s the sight he makes when they pull away that makes her breath catch.

“Something like that?” Karin asks, and her voice doesn’t sound quite right either.

He looks at her for a long time. “Yeah.”

She swallows, trying to get her lungs to work. Breathes in, breathes out, and tells herself that her chest will loosen, given enough time to replace the stolen air.

“So?” She says, when enough thoughts in her head have replenished and she wants to know how that compares. “How was it?”

“You want me to rate it now?” He asks, eyes wide, cheeks still flushed, Adam’s apple bobbing. His hair’s a mess, Karin thinks absently. Did she do that?

“Yep,” Karin says, still feeling like she’s lived through a hurricane and her thoughts are still whirring in a haze, but she’s clear sighted about this.

“Eight.”

“So a definite improvement,” Karin grins, ridiculously happy at his praise.

“Yeah,” Toushirou nods, swallowing, teal eyes obscured by strands of hair falling in front. “If you want to be a kissing expert, I’d say you’re well on your way.”

 

 

It kind of turns into a game. A game that’s completely unlike soccer, but Karin always finds it fun because there’s no such thing as losing and there’s adrenaline rushing through her veins. Everyone’s a winner, and Karin relishes the challenge; in fact, she enjoys every minute of it.

There are discreet kisses, and not so discreet kisses, and kisses that happen in the blink of an eye, and Karin always refuses to let go of him until he kisses her properly. She kisses him when she feels tired of talking, and he kisses her after they’ve bickered one too many times, and she’s smiling when it ends.

There’s a kiss that happens where they all but bump into a tree, twigs snapping under the clumsy waltz that only they seem to get, and Karin spends half of it giggling, hiding her head in his chest, and Donny—or someone from the soccer gang is going to be calling their names soon. They have to find the soccer ball soon, but one more kiss won’t hurt. She wants to memorize his, the sunlight that filters through the leaves and falls on his face when she cups his jaw, leaning up and meeting him half-way.

There’s a kiss that happens straight after Toushirou receives a love confession, and—jealous isn’t the word that Karin would use to describe herself about how she feels, but. But she’d miss this. She’d miss kissing him. That’s all it is. And she’d miss how he holds onto her like he can never get enough.

The best thing about it that it doesn’t affect their friendship. Karin still feels completely herself around him, and how comfortable she is with this.

There’s a part of her that knows they’re going to have to talk about it. There’s a part of her that simply doesn’t care about the repercussions. There’s a part of her would much rather focus on his mouth on hers, with no one suspecting a damn thing.

Karin’s listened to the grapevine a few times, the rumour mill that takes all sorts of gossip and twists them into something true and something false. She knows that she’s heard snatches of broken conversations where people think they’re secretly dating. Things like _they’ve been acting awful close lately_ followed by _they’ve always been close._ Or _are you sure they’re not together_ and _it’s going to hit them right in the face one day and it’ll be me who says ‘I told you so’ first._ It used to make her laugh out loud, the first time she heard it, and then she switched strategies and decided to stare at the next person who asked her and freaked them out by her radio silence.

And—it surprises her, the same way it fills her with relief, the way the gossip about them hasn’t changed. People think they’re just best friends, and in denial about dating, or secretly dating when the truth is that they’re just best friends, who are in a temporary experiment that’s mutually beneficial to both sides.

 

 

“You really think there’s a perfect ten kiss?” Karin asks Yuzu, in the middle of her favourite show—Karin has long since forgotten what any show is called. As far as Karin can tell, any show that features a melodramatic and contrived and convoluted as fuck love story with a bunch of needless triangles and obstacle courses is Yuzu’s favourite show. They tend to blur into one big mess. Sure, the actors might change, and people get hotter, but the story’s always the same.

Two fucking idiots, unable to say a damn thing about it until it’s too late, plenty of excuses and bad tempers to muddle up the waters when external forces—fate, the producers—decide to muck things up even more.

“Of course there is!” Yuzu grins, her face lighting up, far too knowing for Karin’s comfort. “Why?”

“Toushirou mentioned it,” Karin shrugs, trying to play it off as no big deal. It’s not. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. It isn’t. Not to her. “It’s not a big deal, but I was wondering—“

“Isn’t it obvious?” Yuzu beams, ridiculously happy that Karin’s taking an interest in this sort of thing. Engaging with the romantic program. At last. At least, Karin hopes that’s her thought process. The lead actor is pretty good looking. “It’s the wedding kiss!”

“What,” Karin says, deadpanning. She doesn’t know how to react to that. Surely that’s not Toushirou was referring to. Did he get married one time and didn’t tell her?

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Yuzu says, radiating with the thought of weddings. One day she’ll be a wedding planner and that day will simultaneously be the most beautiful thing and a nightmare, Karin can tell. She’s seen that romantic comedy too many times to know what’s going to happen.

Karin reddens, mind stuttering over the images that she’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to even think about. Not for the next five, ten years at least.

“I don’t know,” Karin shrugs, trying to sound laidback and uncaring, that the subject is a casual one, and one that Yuzu likes a lot. “I thought you might say something like… the first kiss. Something like that.”

She very carefully remains focused on the television show, and tries to remember what these characters are called. They’re bickering again. She wishes she could be surprised at them.

“Hm.” Yuzu crosses her arms, deep in thought while she considers this. Finally, she comes to her conclusion with a slight nod, her expression one of utmost seriousness. Never doubt a romantic. “The first kiss _should_ be a ten.”

Dryly, Karin asks. “And the next kiss?”

“Also a ten,” Yuzu smiles, impishly.

She’s pretty sure she knows where this is going, but Karin can’t help but ask anyway. “And the kiss after that?”

“Ten for sure!” Yuzu grins, because of course a quiz like this would be her favourite quiz in the world.

“Let me get this straight,” Karin takes a moment to get her head around this. She raises an eyebrow. “All kisses should be tens?”

“Yes! Exactly. _All_ kisses should be tens, and the wedding kiss is a _perfect_ ten.” Yuzu finishes, with a beam that lights up her entire face at the thought. A crafty glint gleams in her eyes, and, romantic show forgotten as a much more juicer subject comes to life, Yuzu leans forward. “Why was Toushirou talking about the perfect ten kiss with you?”

Is the perfect ten kiss even a thing?

Karin’s never heard about it. She’d assumed Toushirou had made it up. He’s always going about organization skills, rating things on a scale of ten seemed like a very him thing to do. But Yuzu is talking about it like she’s no stranger to it, so that must mean it must be a thing.

How had she never heard about it before when she has the world’s biggest romantic for her sister?

“Um.” Karin sighs, and tries to act grumpier than she actually is. Yuzu’s imagination always gets Karin in trouble, even though she’s supposed to be Karakura Yellow, Karakura Red’s right hand girl. “Never you mind.”

“ _Karin_ —”

“Oh don’t you even _start._ ” Karin glances at Yuzu, trying to quell her trail of thought with a glance, without much bite in her voice. But it’s too late. Yuzu’s a victim of her own imagination, and always, without fail, Karin gets dragged in with her.

“I thought you two weren’t dating.” How Yuzu manages to say that with a straight face and a tone that leaves Karin in no uncertain terms that Yuzu _definitely_ thinks that they’re dating but will respect Karin’s privacy until the time is right is beyond Karin. Which definitely leaves the question if maybe they aren’t as careful as Karin thought they’d been, even though the gossip at school has stayed the same.

“We’re not!” Karin says, a little too loudly. “Why does everyone keep thinking that?”

“You tell me. Why is he asking you about kissing?” Yuzu asks, eyes fever bright with the thought of possibilities. She’s doing a terrible job of hiding her joy about the situation.

“He didn’t. I asked him,” Karin mumbles, realizing a second too late that by making the details accurate she has probably escalated the situation tenfold.

“ _You fox,”_ Yuzu giggles at her.

Her face isn’t meant to go bright red in light of this fact.

She’s really putting her foot in it, isn’t she?

“It’s not like that,” Karin insists, weakly, even though now she’s not so sure that it might be the case after all. It wasn’t when they started, but now…

“Then what is it like?” Yuzu asks, eyes wide and curious, trying to piece the puzzle together. Her voice has become gentle, like she’s calming herself down and trying to soothe her even though Karin doesn’t feel… upset. On edge, maybe.

Karin got mad at someone, once, when she felt she was asked too many times if she and Toushirou were an item or not and she was in a bad mood. But—the situation’s not the same anymore and besides, it’s Yuzu. Yuzu may tease her and escalate the situation a little bit, loving the possibility of relationships growing into the next level, but she stops if she feels like she’s going too far.

“Not that.” Karin says, emphatic, and she doesn’t know why there’s a cloud of doubt in her mind that says otherwise. “I was just curious.”

 

 

Curiosity gets them kissing in the janitor’s closet.

Karakura Red and Honorary Karakura White making out in the janitor’s closet.

Yuzu would have a field day if she knew.

It’s not even—

It’s not like that.

The kissing is… an accident. A happy accident, but an accident all the same.

Even with the part time job of saving the day, saving school, saving Karakura Town from Hollows, what no teacher want to see is a student out in the corridor, out of class when the bell has certainly already rung.

Given the choice between detention and hiding in the janitor’s closet, well, even to Ichi-nii, the smart decision is the obvious one.

Stumbling into the janitor’s closet it is. And then—stumbling really is the right word for it, because one second she’s tugging his wrist, opening the door with her other hand, pulling them both into the enclosed space and then. Then, when the door slams loudly behind them, Karin realizes way too late that she miscalculated how much strength she needed for a stunt like this, body twisting to face him as they stumble together in the dark enclosed space. Her shoulder blades hit the wall, and then Toushirou’s chest bumps into her and she freezes. And it is instinct, nothing but pure instinct, reflexes kicked into muscle memory that corrects the angle of her face when his mouth not quite smashes into hers until they slot together perfectly.

It’s a fantastic accident, Karin decides, and tries not to sigh into him. She fails. An accident that could not have turned out better than it possibly did. Her knees are buckling under his weight.

His hands fumble to her waist, and kissing standing up is just as nice as kissing sitting down, Karin thinks, almost hazily, as they break apart. She’s navigates herself, using one hand to hold onto him, thumb pressing into his collar bone, warmth radiating through his shirt, and the other to feel the surroundings.

Breathing through her nose, Karin gathers her bearings a little bit better so she’s not standing at an awkward angle. Her back is pressing into the shelves, but it’s not so bad right now.

Karin’s beginning to think that maybe they haven’t hidden themselves in the janitor’s closet but a closet where they keep books that only teachers have access too.

It’s kind of hard to tell in the dark, in her defence. And this was a quick judgement call.

There’s no time to turn on the lights, not if they didn’t want to be caught.

All of this is fleeting, fleeting decisions, which fizzle straight of her mind when Toushirou steps back and Karin feels like she’s on steady ground that turns completely on its head the second Toushirou pulls her forward by the waist. Her hands, of their own accord, grasp onto his back of his neck, twining into the soft curls when the distance between them is completely gone.

He makes an appreciative sound that goes straight to her gut.

“Shh,” Karin mumbles against his lips, painfully aware of how much her body is reacting him, his scent, the crisp winteriness of him, his hot breath millimetres away, the hardness against her thigh. She wants it all, and more. “Meant to be quiet, remember.”

“’kay.” Toushirou murmurs, absent-mindedly, and she’s not even sure he’s listening to her while he peppers her face with kisses until he reaches the nape of her and her traitorous body _arches_ , exposing her neck even more.

And when— _when_ _exactly_ did her breathing turn so ragged?

She bites her tongue when he mouths the base of her neck, and she’s so sure that it wasn’t enough to muffle the embarrassing sound she just made. Her cheeks are burning, his touch makes her feel like she’s on fire, and no matter how much he licks into her skin, she can’t cool down.

“Thought you said,” Toushirou says, in a low, low drawl, and that bastard, he’s making it _worse_ , making her shiver like that, so effortlessly, “to be _quiet._ ”

“ _Trying_ ,” Karin hisses, and she stamps on his foot. Painfully.

The result is a nip that makes her see stars and she’s pretty sure he’s just bitten into her neck.

Her fingers slip free from the curls of his white hair, and instead they fall to rest on his shoulders, and splay across the curve of his back, as he surges forward and captures her lips, kissing her thoroughly with an open-mouthed kiss. They step back too much, and she hits the shelf again, not painfully, but it brings Karin to her senses, a little bit, and she takes control of the situation.

They trade kisses after that, quiet, gentle kisses in the dark that cools the blood roaring in her head and slows her heartbeat down, like she’s preparing for the end of the race, and it’s nice. So nice, the flame inside of her is given just enough air to burn bright; she doesn’t know how Toushirou does it.

Gentle kisses are just as pleasant and enjoyable as the more intense kisses. She likes these just as much.

“I think,” Toushirou says, and he pauses, trying to get his breath back, and if there was anyone outside they’d be heard, Karin’s certain. The both of them are breathing too heavily. “No one’s there.”

“Oh good,” Karin nods, feeling breathless still, light-headed, as she opens the door and steps into the corridor. “That’s a relief.”

What’s not a relief is that her heart is still beating a thousand miles a minute.

Karin’s still holding onto his wrist as she tugs him out of the closet. It’s only fitting, she supposes.

“C’mon, let’s get to class,” Toushirou smiles at her, and the smile feels like a stab in the heart for some reason.

“Yeah,” Karin swallows, throat dry as she struggles to find words to speak. “Yeah, okay.”

 

 

Somewhere in between the stream of light reaching past his shoulders and the shadows that fall over their intertwined fingers, Toushirou stops in the middle of the corridor.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” He says, his free hand resting on the nape of his neck. “I thought I could, but I can’t.”

All her breath feels taken away. Someone’s pulled the rug under her, and Karin would be falling if Toushirou wasn’t such an anchor, letting her hold on to him. It’s feels that way, at least. Karin’s standing still, but she feels dizzy like she’s never been before.

“Oh,” Karin doesn’t know what to say.

Maybe he says something, maybe he doesn’t, Karin can’t _think_.

Suddenly she _can_ and the only thing that exists in her head is the thing that started their fooling around in the first place, and she hates herself, just a little bit.

“But what about the perfect ten kiss?” Her voice sounds strange, higher pitched, like she hasn’t thought them through. It sounds slow to her ears, and she’s not sure if the world has suddenly turned to slow motion, freezing and falling apart before her very eyes.

“Right,” Toushirou says, mouth pressed into a thin line, and there’s something sad in the way he stands, the way he looks at her, the way his shoulders crumple as he lets go of her hand. Karin’s never felt the absence of his touch as much as she does now. “C’mere, Kurosaki.”

Except she doesn’t move and Toushirou does.

He leans forward, invading her space like he had minutes ago, pressed up in the closet, with the smell of books and dust, and cradles her jaw reverently, and Karin—Karin can’t help but instantly react, her hands rising to keep his arms in place as he reaches out to kiss her. She wants to hold him here, forever, her eyelids lowering, blinded by the afternoon light. Only, her grip is gentle, so he’s free to slip out of her grasp whenever he wants.

She doesn’t expect him to press his mouth onto her forehead, her chin tucking in to her chest, when he kisses her so sweetly.

“See?” Toushirou says, as her eyes flutter open, so much left unsaid, “Perfect ten. My favourite kind of kiss.”

“You big softie.” Karin grins, managing to say something witty at last, and tries desperately not to think of how that kiss seemed so final. Like he was saying goodbye forever. “I would have never guessed.”

He shrugs, hair completely ruffled. “That’s the point.”

“Hey.” Karin says, trying to sound like her heart isn’t breaking, and she doesn’t just think, _oh._ “Your secret is safe with me.”

 

 

It’s not as if there isn’t a little bit of awkwardness, because there is.

There are days when Karin misses going up to him and kissing him for no reason at all, because she liked the way he smiled, because this was a competition, because it was fun and they both enjoyed it. There are days when Karin is weirdly aware of how invasive of each other’s personal space that never used to be an issue. Not like this. She’s aware of how he tenses up whenever she swings her arms around him or how often they’d sneak away from everybody else just to talk, and now there’s a void between them that she doesn’t know how to fix.

 Karin doesn’t know why she feels like she’s lost her best friend in the whole wide world when he’s standing right in front of her.

But there’s a rift, even though things are mostly alright now, and Karin doesn’t know what there is to do. Yuzu keeps giving her silent looks that is going to last for so long until Yuzu’s impatience gets the better of her, because it’s never been like this before and.

 

 

They’ll find a way to get back to the way things used to be, she tells herself, and tries to repress exactly what she wanted to avoid in the first place.

They will.

 

 

The neon lights are blue when Karin breathes in and red when she breathes out. It doesn’t feel the same, the experience is nowhere near as nice or floaty or heady, and Karin pulls back quickly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Sorry,” Karin says to the boy whose name she can’t remember with a shrug. “Gotta go.”

She’s not really sure if kissing him was a good idea, but she wanted to know if kissing someone else was a different. And it was, and it just tells her that she misses Toushirou more than she thought she did. She’s gotten too accustomed to the way Toushirou kisses her, and how he was able to sends her nerves alight so easily.

It’s not that it was a bad kiss… only it felt off.

And if that doesn’t tell Karin exactly what she thought she could deny for a little while longer, then Yuzu will take her the arms and tell her that she’s being ridiculous and it’s time to get a hold of herself.

 

 

“I hear you two crazy kids have finally figured out what everyone’s known all along,” Rangiku says, life of the party, forever and always, appearing out of nowhere.

Karin tilts her head, blinking past the strobe lights. “How long have you been there?”

“I go wherever there’s a party,” Rangiku beams, and that’s not really an answer, but Karin will let it slide. She’s not really that drunk anymore, but she doesn’t really care much either. If Rangiku skips out on being Vice Captain, then it’s not really Karin’s problem. Karin’s missed Rangiku’s company, her vivaciousness and good insight.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Karin asks, her voice laden with apathy that fools no one.

“Captain Hitsugaya’s been awful cheerful lately. I thought the only way I’d get the details on how he confessed his undying love for you was by asking you,” Rangiku answers brightly, cutting straight to the heart of the matter.

“What,” Karin blanches. _Love?_ Who said anything about that?

“Something happened between you two,” Rangiku muses, brows knitting together, her disappointment flittering away as she tries to solve the mystery.

 _Love?_ Karin thinks, feeling dizzy, the last drops of alcohol vanishing like a shock of water through her veins. _Love?_

“You might as well tell me. You look like you need someone to talk to,” Rangiku says, not unkindly, and Karin sits herself down beside her. There’s a radiant grin adorned on her face, and Karin would be lying if she didn’t admit that Rangiku was comforting by simply being there. “And I am just the person to listen. Tell me all about the scandalous love affair.”

“Yeah. It’s not like that,” Karin sighs, chest tightening. Maybe Rangiku’s right. Maybe if she started talking about it, she’d feel better. “It wasn’t a love affair. We were just… fooling about. We weren’t dating, Ran-chan.”

“You guys are so sweet!” Rangiku beams, startling Karin. She hadn’t expected that kind of reaction. “I _love_ casual relationships. They’re so fun.”

“Yeah, it was. Then we decided to stop,” Karin says, staring at her knees, thinking about that final kiss, how it felt a little bit like bliss. “And, things haven’t been the same since. And I—I miss it, you know? I think… I need an adjustment period to get used to the way things were.”

“Oh,” Rangiku says, understandingly, sympathy written on her face.  She hands Karin a bottle of beer. “That happens, sometimes.”

“Not always?” Karin asks, raising the bottle to her mouth. Maybe this will erase the nameless boy’s taste. More alcohol is needed. Plenty more.

“Nope. Sometimes it’s just like nothing’s changed. Kisses don’t harm a friendship, if it’s not serious.” Rangiku shrugs and Karin wants to know all her stories, because they’re real, they’ve made Rangiku into the person she is today. It’s not something they’ve talked about before. Rangiku looks at her with an aside glance, shoulders bumping. “Sometimes it’s not that easy.”

“Oh? What’s it like then?” Karin says, heart thudding in her chest. She feels so young.

“Well, it depends. Sometimes, one person wants more, and the other person wants less. It can go like that. And that—that needs an adjustment period, to find yourself where you used to be. Or not. Maybe it’ll never be the same again. Sometimes the casual goes serious, and everybody wins,” Rangiku says, smiling ruefully at the untold memories. She’ll ask, one day, when she’s ready. Her gaze turns curious, her grin turns knowing, like she’s about to gobble Karin up. “So which one was it for you?”

Karin doesn’t answer, mind blank, save one thing revolving in her mind that she can’t possibly believe.

“Well, you’ll figure it out,” Rangiku says, when it becomes clear that Karin has no answer for her. “And then you’ll have to tell me.”

Mouth dry, Karin asks, “Toushirou’s not really in love with me, is he?”

He’d have said, if he was—or, she’d have been able to tell, because they know each other so well, right?

“You tell me, Karin-chan,” Rangiku teases her, ruffling her hair. Magically, two shots have appeared in front of them. They drink. “You two have always been weird about each other.”

 

 

And, well, Karin’s not really sure that’s the case.

It’s pretty clear other people seem to regard them as weird, but really, being around Toushirou was intoxicating because she was no one but herself, and being around him naturally brought that out. She’d always assumed that it was the same for him. It didn’t matter if they losing their temper at each other, or being close or playing soccer. It didn’t matter whether they were rivals or friends or fooling around, they had always been themselves, as they’d grown up. Being around him had felt normal.

Something changed, and Karin can’t explain when it happened, but somewhere between kissing in the sunset and kissing in the closet, their relationship had evolved yet again.

 

 

“Watermelons on the roof?” Toushirou asks her, just as Karin leans over his desk the next morning and says, “So, hey, I think we need to talk—”

“Watermelons,” Karin blinks, not once, but twice. Rangiku’s advice has gone straight out the window. “Really. You’re using _your_ favourite food.”

“It’s not as if you dislike watermelons,” Toushirou points out, his face the picture of innocence, like the past two weeks of weirdness hasn’t happened and they’ve fallen back on this easy routine.

“True,” Karin concedes, although she’s not about to let him off the hook just yet. “But, shouldn’t you at least use my favourite food anyway?”

“Maybe. Next time,” Toushirou shrugs, a dismissive promise that Karin isn’t about to forget. “The point is, I bought watermelon, sliced, and they’re worth sharing. So. Watermelons on the roof?”

“Alright.” Karin grins, and it feels like maybe, maybe she could get used to this. Things could get back to the way it used to be. “Anything goes for watermelons.”

It’s a start.

 

 

“So, I know you don’t feel the same way I feel about you,” Toushirou begins, watermelons left forgotten on the floor. “And I’m sorry that there’s been this distance, but I’ve felt this way for so long and—”

“I’m in love with you,” Karin blurts out, not listening to a word out of his mouth or hers, and then pales because she did _not_ just say that. “I mean, I miss you, and I like kissing you and wait, wait, _what did you just say,_ can we go back to that?”

“Wait,” Toushirou freezes, teal eyes staring straight through her. “What did _you_ just say? Did you mean—”

Blood drains out of Karin’s face.

“Can we talk about what _you_ just said?” She says, quickly, desperately trying to find a handle on this conversation, and feeling like she’s unable to. “What do you mean you don’t feel the same way I do?”

“What do you mean you’re in love with me?” Toushirou says, face equally as pale, eyes wide. “I thought—”

“Did you think I knew?” Karin hisses, and this is not how the conversation was supposed to go. Anger flares in her stomach and spreads like wildfire. “Did you think I knew you were in love with me?”

“I don’t know! Maybe?” He shouts, stuffing his hands in his pockets and frowning. His red face is turning burgundy.

“How? How was I supposed to know that?” Karin all but yells, feeling her cheeks heat up. She doesn’t care who hears her. Let them. “What the fuck. How long have you…” Her voice dies away and she waves on of her hands to try and convey her meaning.

“A while. Last year, maybe?” He shrugs, looking hopelessly lost. “I don’t know.”

“So before all this happened?” Karin stares at him, gaping. The facts are incomprehensible to her before they click into place and it suddenly hits her. “And you let me kiss you and fool about anyway? _Toushirou.”_

“What,” Toushirou mutters, staring resolutely at his shoes. “I was. I was taking what I could get.”

“ _Idiot._ ” Karin all but growls. She closes her eyes for a second and then reopens them to find him staring at her, a little bashful.

“Thought you said I wasn’t your type,” Toushirou says, mouth twitching, and Karin tries not to bury her face in her hands.

“I thought you weren’t,” Karin admits. And then she giggles, because it occurs to her how ridiculous this is. She grins at him, because what else is she supposed to do when the situation has gotten so out of hand? “And then you were, because you _seduced_ me, oh kissing expert, with all your kisses.”

“Karin,” Toushirou says, the smallest smile possible playing on his lips.

“You’re my best friend and I’m in love with you.” Karin admits, shoulders dropping as she breathes out, blushing be damned. “I _miss_ you. I like kissing you. I want to kiss you every day, dammit.”

“There’s a word for that,” Toushirou says, dryly, but he’s smiling now, in pure daylight.

“Yeah, Yuzu would call it dating,” Karin grins. “I think I’d be okay with it.”

“Just okay,” Toushirou rolls his eyes, echoing her, his eyes as blue as the sky. “I’m in love with you, and you say—”

“I can do better,” Karin interrupts, narrowing the distance between them, hands on his shoulders, and she stands on her tiptoes to give him his perfect ten kiss. “How’s that?”

 “Perfect ten,” He rates with a grin, which Karin mirrors, heart about to burst.

“Good. Have another.” This time, she kisses him on the mouth, and maybe Yuzu was right about this too. Her arms slide around his neck, and there’s no escaping this, Karin thinks, this happiness that surges through her when she kisses him like he deserves. She licks into his mouth and their tongues slide against each other, familiar, affectionately, exactly as it should be. When they pull apart, foreheads touching, she’s smiling.

“That’s not a perfect ten,” Toushirou says, lightly, no bite in his voice.

Karin doesn’t care. “Too bad, it is for me.”

He lifts an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh really?”

“Yeah. Are you going to change my mind?” Karin challenges, laughter sparkling in her eyes. She feels like the sun in a clear blue sky, surrounded by perfection.

 “I might just do that,” Toushirou says, ready to take on her challenge, before he sits down and places her on his lap, like they did the first time in daylight, all those weeks ago. “But first, watermelon.”

 

 

They have plenty of kisses after this moment, gentle kisses and lazy kisses that they have all the time in the world to savour, kisses in the rain and kisses in the snow, kisses in the summer and kisses in winter, victory game kisses after they win matches, and raspberry kisses if they lose them. There are kisses to prove Ichi-nii that she really is dating Toushirou, and kisses on the hand which is more than enough proof for Yuzu and Rangiku.

Each kiss is like a sport’s match, memorable and delightful, and perfect tens in every way.

 

 

But for now, Karin is content to kiss Toushirou in broad daylight and grin when she tastes nothing but watermelon.


End file.
